My wife Bethany must’ve had a break at work or something and was doing some surfing and came across one of the best lists on the internet. It’s the “Top 30 Random Chuck Norris” facts. It’s hilarious. Let me just give you a sample of the ones that I thought were funny:
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
5. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
6. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
7. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
8. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
9. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
If you’re not a Chuck Norris fan, that’s ok. I don’t really don’t think the kids who thought these up are Chuck Norris fans either, but simply have no time for anything else in this life except to think of witty sayings concernings his amazing martial arts abilities.
Speaking of guys on TV, I’m seriously becoming one of the biggest Conan O’Brien fans. I knew liked him, and that I thought he was the funniest guy on television, but quite honestly, I really don’t want to miss another show. As if to say that sometime around 12:35am every day I might be missing something or an sweet one-liner that can tickle my funny bone. To be honest, I’m jealous of future generations. When Conan takes over for Leno that’s just an extra hour of sleep that kids will get because they won’t stay up to watch Carson Daly after Conan because that would be like taking a step backwards in humor. But they will simply fall asleep satisfied from watching good, (usually) clean fun.
Not much else to say about that, just finishing up some work today and starting the weekend. What do you think of when you hear the word “weekend”? I always think of the band Hey Mercedes (who recently broke up) and their song “Our Weekened Starts on Wednesday”. That would be sweet, Wednesday weekend. That’s a good band name, or even a good blog title. Nevermind. I need to get to work, don’t want to get fired on the 2nd project!
And remember, at birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
2 replies on “A Texas Superhero”
Bethany must be slackin’ at work or something. That is so funny. Hey, I linked you at my site, hope that’s ok. I hope married life has been good to you. See ya tomorrow.
Great entry Shaycam. Conan is the man. Chuck Norris is the man. I had Chuck Norris pajamas AND dressed up like him for halloween in 1st grade. Plastic mask and everything. No joke! Hey, you ever see the random Walker Texas Ranger clips Conan whips out with the pull of that lever every now and then? Hilarious.