The Aliens Are After Us

The Aliens Are After Us

Last night I had a strange dream. I stole a car from a high school friend — actually it was his dad’s car. I then proceeded to drive as fast as I could towards the nearest freeway entrance as an escape route. Everything seemed to be going great — no traffic (which is rare in L.A.) and the entrance was a straight downhill slope, just perfect for my needs. At first the entrance looked normal, but as soon as I made a right turn to jump on it, the road turned to rocks. These weren’t just little pebbles, these were boulders. Of course this piece of junk Oldsmobile bottomed out and there I was stuck on four or five large rocks not about to go anywhere. I’m pretty sure these things just popped up right out of the ground, because I’m telling you — I might be dumb enough to steal a friends car, but I’m not dumb enough to drive it over the Rocky mountains overpass. So after getting my bearings back I figured I’d unbuckle and get out the heck out of there. But unfortunately, that’s not where it ended.

Lately I’ve been having some really odd dreams, but it’s not just the dreams that are odd — it’s what I’m doing in real life while my imagination is out of control. In the past two weeks I have woken Bethany and myself up three times because I’m audibly proclaiming these dreams. No, I’m not speaking full sentences, I’m just basically yelling. The first two times it happened I remember just wanting out of my dream, so I thought I’d yell. I guess they were more like nightmares, but I don’t remember them like the one I had last night… which is where we left off.

After I unbuckled to get out of the car that I had just destroyed, I turned to open the door and BAM!…some crazy grandma lady was all up in my window yelling and screaming. I vaguely remember her wearing a muumuu and being of Asian decent, but don’t quote me on that. I guess she wasn’t happy that I was now blocking the entrance to the freeway and when you’re in L.A., that’s just not cool — not even for grandmas. And that’s when I start yelling really loud. I mean, c’mon — how would you react if some wild women was trying to attack you? It freaked me out! Thankfully, I woke my wife up with my audibles and she was able to wake me up before things got out of hand.

Don’t ask me where I get this stuff. I promise I’m not watching late night Sci-Fi or fighting with any of the many grandmas here in the old folks home where we live. But I am starting to worry that my reactions are going to escalate and freak my wife out more than I already have. So if you see Bethany around you can joke and laugh about my strangeness, but be sure and give her a nice hug and reassure that’s she doing the right thing by waking me up.

By Shay

A little bit, a little bit more.

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